I'm re-reading the "Jake" book (So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore) and glad I am because I need to be reminded of many important spiritual truths that the book contains.
Yesterday while reading I was reminded that the middle of the story is not the same as the end. Well, that sure is a good thing in some areas of life, that don't ever seem to sort out over time no matter how hard you try, how long you wait or how much you pray.
The loneliness of life outside the church walls is bearable most times, but I have days when it really gets to me. Outside the church walls mostly just means that the facade of fellowship has been stripped away. But, in stripping away the facade we've also lost the opportunity for the few positive, if rather short term, relationships we could find inside the church walls. Now it just looks wintry.
I really love Aida's blog on winter being a season of rest - important truths there. Yet there are times when I find myself in or near despair. Because I have children I'm taking with me on this important yet often uncertain and at times bleak looking road.
Most of you know we moved around the time we quit "going to church." Now we're still figuring out a new life in more than one area. The three of them have to make do with each other and their parents for companionship and friendship more than I would like. And while that's not a bad thing, I can see it in their sweet faces that they are lonely for a special friend, for more meaningful outside connection in their lives, for the true community that is so hard to find. (Just because you have your family busy with activities, even good ones, does not mean real connection with others will necessarily happen quickly, if at all).
After years of homeschooling, which has its own challenges, we also quit "going to church." To quote Toula in Big Fat Greek Wedding, "because - we weren't weird enough!" When you step outside the 'norm' of education or religion, you can't just coast. None of the work is done for you by an institution to provide for your family's needs.
Some days, it all just really looks bleak. Holidays tend to not help in dealing with the underlying feelings of sadness, of not being connected to others the way we long to.
But perhaps that's why Father keeps slipping me little notes of hope, such as catching the last part of this song on the radio in the car the other day:
When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
When you think that love is only
For the lucky, and the strong
Just remember, in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed, that with the sun's love...
in the spring, becomes... the rose :-)
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
7 comments:
Thanks for sharing and posting this, along with my good friend Bino, I wish you a belated Merry Christmas.
ps. I really like the lionwoman handle.
Best
liondeer
ps.ps. your making a difference by sharing your experiences here, Thanks again.
Hi Leonard, glad U stopped by! I am glad to hear when something I write touches someone. If even 1 or 2 people are blessed it is more than worthwhile. blessings 2U!
Amy, I can really relate. Most of the time loneliness is not a problem but occasionally it gets to me and then, if I let myself, I can get into a major pity party. I know it's worse for you since you have children but Daddy is good to send the encouragement we need.
Thanks for sharing and thanks for being my friend.
Love, Aida
Amy, I've read some of your posts on Lifestream Yahoo group & I followed you over to your blog. Oh, how I relate to what you are feeling. I also homeschool and we left church on Easter 2007. It can be very lonely some days. Some days I really want a friend. I just wanted you to know that someone in the world understands how you feel. Thanks for sharing your heart.
*Hugs* Sherri from Texas
Sherri, glad you came on over! Christmas this year has been a reminder of the close Christian fellowship that just isn't in our lives at this point. It doesn't look hopeful for change anytime soon. I'm always glad to meet other h-schoolers on this journey!
I'm glad though, that sharing online is helping more than just me. Aida, thanks for your encouragement too. Your optomistic outlook is good for me!
Amy, like Sherri, I too have followed you from Lifestream and Divine Nobodies, Thanks for sharing what many of us feel but can't always but into words. I, too, am a homeschooler and while my family and I attend a very small church close to our home there are no real relationships there. Sometimes it is more discouraging to attend church as it is just a reminder of how I don't connect with anyone there. I can identify with the loneliness as my only "kindred spirit" homeschool friend passed away in April and the loneliness some days is almost depressing. I am so glad Father knows exactly what we each need in the way of friends and fellowship. Thanks again for sharing.
Blessings,
Melanie
Hi Melanie, it's good to hear from U. I am so sorry to hear about your friend passing away! I would love to talk with you more. Please feel free to email me on or off the yahoo groups any time. I think this journey is especially hard for those of us who homeschool. I hope we can encourage each other more.
Post a Comment